do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
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I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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