No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
