I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
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