that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
