In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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