I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
