That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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