i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
