If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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