we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
