Christians are straight up FREAKS
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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