he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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