tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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