If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
