Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
organizing the empties. That sober.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
This baby is an asshole
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
