Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
