I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
