So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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