OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
