is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
