she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
