BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
