That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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