wrigley field is MILF paradise
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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