She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
