Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Your penis caused this!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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