Don't you send me to vm
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
where am i from again
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
