so explain again why im purple
no
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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