fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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