I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
