so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
