eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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