the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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