Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
