She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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