His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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