Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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