dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
