That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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