If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i think im in europe. pls send help
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
