thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
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successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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