omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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