There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize