Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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