fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My cat gives me a boner
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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