Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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