I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
