you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
