Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
my nose is crying tears of wow.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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