We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
