Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
