Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
