You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
