and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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