omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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