Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Apparently you make a good broom.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
