You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
