I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
