How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
