have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
