Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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