her vagine was all disorganized.
People in love make me want to vomit
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
